Definition Of A Pro - Dustin Vado

I practiced so much, I have tendonitis,
    but tonight I have a gig.
I am sick as a dog, puked all night,
    but tonight I have a gig.
I am light headed, can’t eat, can’t sleep, tortured by flu,
    but tonight I have a gig.
I got dumped by a girl I once said I loved today,
    but tonight I have a gig.
I am stranded in Lebec
    with a band of children
        in a ratchet van that gave out,
            but we have a gig tonight in LA.
I lost my sister today- she told them to turn off the oxygen
    and traded it for the still winds of new life,
        but I have a gig tonight
            playing for a $25 ticket.
I watched my dog die today, old and inevitable, he is no longer in pain,
    no longer whining in sleepless agony,
        no longer battling the biology actively murdering him,
            but I have a gig tonight doing sound for punks.
The bass player passed today
    walking the same path as the dog
        and now I am short a mentor,
            band mate,
                and brother,
                    but I have a gig
                        playing to an empty room.
My heart is heavy, my soul is weak and limping,
    my daily battle is just beginning
        on one hour's sleep
            after a life changing night with
                the unpredictable, the unfathomable,
                    the lady of evenings and fleeting smiles
                        who will never understand the heart of a cube,
                    but I have a gig
where I can’t speak about
    any of it.
Can’t cry,
    can’t puke,
        can’t break,
    and can’t fuck up.
I take the stage with a lead sinker in my chest that scuttles me
    deeper and deeper
        past bubbling layers of water
            into the darkest abyss
                where no one can see me except an angler
                    with his built in headlight
                        and he probably wonders,
“What are you doing here?”

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