Music/Morning Demons - Dustin Vado

There is a tone or a chord,
or a melody or motif
or a riff or… who cares,
a music
that grabs my brain stem
by its balls
and makes me think of love -
a shibboleth for the doomed
or haven for the soft,
but a prison for me
when the past will not
burn off with the fog
and sits next to every
morning demon
kindly offering company,
and a smoke, and a coffee,
and advice:

"Face your fears,
and be me.
I am thoughtless,
I am heartless,
I have never given
and will never care.
I will be here when you
die alone as a reminder
that nothing matters,
including you. Drown
your teenage fantasies
and come diving for light
where you know
it can't reach."

Is this advice,
I couldn't say, but the
music
just is.  It is and it isn't,
it's broken and whole,
it's a mountain of laughs
and a river of tears,
and it makes me feel like a child
when it grabs me
by my balls
at the base of my brains
when I am still and closer than ever
to another morning demon,
and another smoke, and another coffee,
and another sad song,
another hushed lyric
under the breath of another young talent
who wakes to her own
hopeless heart and
morning demons,
and smokes, and coffee
til she dies
and some remember her in song,
but most never knew
about all the mornings
that were just like mine
and yours in good company...

The first smoke of the day
is always the best,
the first to remind me
that it will be the same tomorrow.